Thursday, October 1, 2020

How to Save your Marriage without Begging your Spouse

"Love suffereth long, and is kind; love envieth not; love vaunteth not itself is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil…beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things." - 1 Corinthians 13
The key to saving your marriage without the need to beg, talk it out, and involve your husband/wife in the process is to make sure you apply the advice I outlined in this blog post + additional help from an expert and a FREE E-book.

  
how to save your marriage
Don't be surprised if today's post is a little bit off-topic.

This is not about money-making strategy but about sharing marriage dilemmas and what I discovered to be helpful to me.

Since this blog turned out to be for reviews and product recommendations, expect that I will share with you all things I found helpful to solve my personal struggles.

This could be for parenting, work, holiday gift recommendations, books, hobbies, and for this blog post?... Marriage.

Please note there are affiliate links in this post for products I recommend. This means, at no cost to you, I may get a commission if you make a purchase through one of them. Read my full disclosure here.

The video of Brad Browning prompted me to write this blog post. CHECK it out, it's FREE!


Or just keep reading because...


At the end of this post, I will give you "The Marriage Repair Handbook" for FREE. 

This E-book will give you ideas on how you can save your marriage.

The main fact that you click on this blog post, I am sure you are searching for some helpful tips or ideas on how to save your faltering or on the brink of divorce marriage.

I know that time will come in your marriage when you would ask if you've made the right decision in marrying your spouse. 

Research shows that the motives for divorce are, "Lack of love/intimacy, communication problems, lack of sympathy/respect/trust, and growing apart. The least reported motives were violence, addiction, accident or illness, and personality." (Source)

One time or another, you will experience any of these motives (same with your spouse).

For me, problems in marriage arise under pressure. During this time is when you will know who's the person you marry and who you really are in the face of troubles. 

Sometimes this is when you will both realized that your spouse is not what you expect or envisioned to be.

This happened to me when my husband lost his job and started to get lazy to the point of self-sabotaging himself through addiction. 

This is when I started to work for the family and had to lost time for my passions like blogging and drawing. 

I can't explain how I become miserable inside knowing that the person whom I depended on my life and my kid's turned out to be the most irresponsible person I've ever meet.  

If you can relate and if you want to save your relationship here are the things I discovered that's helpful to save marriage without your partner's cooperation. 


Click to Watch!



1. Let Go of your Desire to Change your Husband/Wife


Research shows that targeting your partner can do more harm than good. (Source)

Because the reality is, we cannot change others. We can only change ourselves. If your spouse has to change, the decision must come from him. We are not responsible for their mistakes.

And know what? This is more freeing. You don't need to stress yourself out, nag your partner endlessly or beg them to change. These do not work.

You can affect some change in the relationship if you are willing to CHANGE YOURSELF! The focus of change becomes you, NOT YOUR PARTNER.

Which brings us to...

Click to Watch!


2. Focus on yourself


Norma Tarazi, an authority on Muslim families says, "In most cases [of interpersonal conflict], both people have made some mistakes in dealing with each other. But the other person’s mistakes are not your concern. When you want to improve a relationship...you improve yourself and make your behavior the best possible. You cannot force another individual to change and be the way you want–that is up to him or her…. Correct your behavior so the responsibility for this [problem] becomes as little your fault as possible… hoping perhaps that the other the person will change, but not demanding it as an outcome of your efforts."

We must pay attention to ourselves: eat healthily, exercise, improve. 

By focusing on ourselves, our partner might reciprocate the change. But even if they're not, it's still to our advantage that we change and takes care of ourselves.

It is time to stop pointing fingers and turning our attention inward to see what we can do—not what our spouses should do! 

The end goal is to become a more loving person to ourselves and to others.

Just a word of caution, though. This may not bring a huge improvement in saving the marriage just like targeting your partner. This is just part of the process.  

Research shows that "... Successful self-change is also unlikely to bring about vast improvements in relationship quality unless self-regulation efforts trigger the partner’s co-operation in improving specific relationship problems."

In the long run, you might get frustrated if you see no changes in your partner's attitude despite the changes in you. Worst, you might go to the extreme of neglecting your partner altogether.

No worries, I will tell you how to go from here. Keep reading...





 

3. Relinquishing your Marriage to God

Research shows that spiritual intimacy is one of the unique factors that preserve and protect marriage when couples become first-time parents together. (Source)

This is for Christian like me who believe that He who gave us the marriage is able to save and keep it safe for us.
  
I heard a lot of testimonies about this in Church. I knew and I have no doubt, God can save people and... our broken marriages. There is no impossible on Him. 

In fact, I know that our strong faith in God is not only effective for first-time parents, but it's also effective all throughout the marriage. 

We can relinquish our marriage to Him and allow Him to heal us of all the wounds made by our partner's shortcomings as well as the wounds we inflict to ourselves.

And it pays to remember our marriage vows at this point because we swore to stay in the marriage "Til death do us part." And this vow is made not only in front of people but of God.

 Now that you heard my take, you may consider additional help. Remember that these are just preliminary steps, the rest is left to the masters who devoted years in the study of saving and mending marriages.

If you skip the video, watch it now. Brad Browning's will surely help you if you have a much deeper problem in your marriage life.

To those of you who don't know Brad Browing, he's a divorce expert and relationship coach from Vancouver. He's the author of two best-selling relationship programs and he'd been helping couples for over a decade.

His writings appear in many publications including Your Tango and in LoveLearnings.com.

His Youtube channel is where he talks about many struggles of relationships.

If you've watched the video, you have already found some sound ideas on how to Mend the Marriage.



As a Free Sample E-book from him, you can download it here ...


 

Remember, your end goal is to be a loving person to yourself and to others.

Leave a comment and let me know how it goes.

And then, please do me a favor.

Do you know someone who’s struggling to save their marriage?

Share this post with them now.



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